Im Sober and My Spouse Is Not Marriage and Sobriety

Most importantly, find what works for you. The more you work on yourself, the better your relationships will be with your kids, colleagues, friends, and others. You’re still part of a family—it’s just reorganized.

However, you may begin feeling sad and confused about your relationship with drugs and alcohol. Feelings of shame, guilt and depression are all normal, and these feelings can be worked through. You may also begin grieving the relationship you had with your substances of choice. The first 30 days of sobriety might be the hardest. Depending on how you decide to stop using alcohol, you may be going through detox, attending addiction treatment, or participating in AA or NA meetings.

Hiking and Mental Health: The Benefits of Hiking Therapy

Your most important goal right now is to show up for yourself while you’re in recovery—just as you are. Each step you take (forward, backward, sideways, and all) is a step toward a better future. These are my best tips as you work through your divorce and sobriety. Get started today before this once in a lifetime opportunity expires.

And then at the end of the day, or would you reengage with when we say, Hey, how did that meeting go? We’ll set what happened during the phone calls you following up? Yeah, you’re kind of creating this ritual of connection that says, I’m thinking of you wondering how things went for you.

Do Marriages Last After Rehab?

Someone who’s stress levels weren’t spiked by chaos, culture clashes, and kamikaze drivers. In the first few months, the novelty of a new country and life was enough to keep my drinking a mostly social endeavor, albeit a reckless one. I don’t want to think about the small mortgage we pissed away on alcohol and cigarettes. In this country, getting wasted is a staple of Western expat life and we were eager participants. At first, we were having the time of our lives. New country (for both of us), new people new adventures.

  • He had never taken medication before.
  • And you versus the antidote for criticism.
  • I tried to be active in his life, but not pushy.

Versus I would just imagine that trajectory of a conversation where person says, you know, you didn’t really spend, he didn’t listen to what I said. Dr. Navarra works with couples in recovery sober house and he provides resources and support for couples who have been impacted by addiction and are now in recovery. Instead, it’s best to treat the marriage as a new relationship.

Put Your Feelings in Writing

Addictive behaviors can tear the fabric of any relationship. The support group is, first of all, a safe place in which one feels understood like nowhere else, since everyone there has had similar feelings and experiences. It is much easier to trust these relative strangers than it is to trust the loved one, who seems to have hurt us so often. So, I’ve officially closed my private practice after 40 years. So, if you’re interested in some additional support is sort of the generic perspective, you can certainly go on gottman.com.

Marriage is a union between two people that involves a strong emotional connection, commitment, and a shared life together. When one partner struggles with addiction, though, this can significantly affect the dynamic of the relationship. As much as you might want to get back to your normal life, you have to accept that it won’t happen overnight.

I don’t know of a single relationship problem that was solved by drinking. Sometimes people discover who they really are in recovery and grow apart. Others find the burden is too heavy and decide to end their relationships. Even though he drank with me, my husband wasn’t (and isn’t) an alcoholic.

marriage changes after sobriety